Naked

I often speak openly about the mental health challenges I’ve faced throughout my life, but I’ve never truly shared the root cause. Honestly, I never planned to. I’ve alluded to the deep-seated trauma woven into my story, but I’ve never been direct. I believed that sharing the pain and testifying to God’s healing power would be enough. But as we know, His ways are not our ways—and what we think is sufficient may not align with what He knows is necessary for His greater purpose in our lives.

As a child, I was sexually abused by a family member.

It’s taken me years to say that out loud. But I now realize that sharing even this painful piece of my story may not only bring deeper freedom to me—but also to someone else who’s been silently carrying a similar burden.

My ongoing battle with mental health was rooted in a betrayal that left invisible wounds—wounds I worked hard to hide. But God, in His mercy, is uncovering them not to shame me, but to heal me—and eventually heal other’s else through me.

When God first called me to share my story, I was terrified.

As a teenager, when the realization of what had been done to me registered within, I vowed to take it to the grave. I believed that speaking up would cause more harm than good. In my eyes, silence wasn’t just safe—it felt righteous.

But then came the day in my adult years when I felt it deep in my spirit: it was time to break the silence. I could’ve died, for lack of better words. My stomach turned. I felt physically ill. I didn’t understand why God would ask me to reveal something so vulnerable—something I found honestly shameful.

But here I am.

I share my story because I know now, that God knows best.

Through sharing my truth with loved ones—and now here on this platform—I’ve been laid completely bare, with nothing left to hide. Strangely, it was in exposing the most disappointing, uncomfortable, and seemingly shameful part of my life that I discovered freedom. The enemy no longer holds me captive. Yes, the initial shock of exposure hurt more than I expected, but in the end, I am free.

I am no longer afraid of how people might see me.

No longer afraid of someone finding out.

No longer bound by the vow of silence I once made in ignorance.

Over the past few years, God has been teaching me to see myself through His eyes—something I never could have done alone. I used to condemn myself simply for being human. Worse still, I blamed and punished myself for the abuse I endured, assuming I could have prevented it at the tender age of nine.

Perhaps I did something to provoke him. Perhaps my lack of fight and silence welcomed the abuse. Perhaps his actions were justifiable. Perhaps it was truly me in the wrong.

After fully surrendering my life to Christ, God began healing my heart and correcting my understanding regarding the abuse.

As I embarked on my healing journey, I decided I wouldn’t allow my healing to revolve around the perpetrator himself. I removed him from the process completely choosing not to acknowledge his part in anything. It was my way of moving forward. But in removing him completely from my story, I was unable to challenge the false belief that I was to blame for something I was far too young to understand, because who was actually to blame was no longer a factor in my eyes.

I had to realize that I could see him for who he truly was at that time of his life, and acknowledge his wrong actions without making my healing journey all about him and how he hurt me.

Recently, God called me to look back again. Not to dwell—but to heal. And as I did, His truth began to break through the facade of lies.

The truth has become my freedom.

I came to realize that neither my attacker nor I were the true enemy. The real enemy was Satan—the one who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). Ultimately, we were both victims.

It was never my shame to carry.

It was shame that belonged to someone who allowed themself to be used by the enemy.

And Lord willing, through Christ, even he can one day be freed from that shame as well.

There is no shame in God.

Shame is rooted in condemnation—and Scripture reminds us that Christ did not come to condemn us, but to save us (John 3:17).

Here’s what I’ve learned:

• Your testimony lies in the things you consider weaknesses: brokenness, disappointments, and even your deepest desires.

• Because our strength is in God, we are not weak.

• Because God is love, there is no shame in Him.

• Secrecy—especially when rooted in fear of shame—is what turns something into a weakness.

• What the enemy doesn’t want you to know is this: exposure doesn’t disarm you. It empowers you.

Exposure transforms “shame” into a weapon for the Kingdom.

Exposure makes room for God’s grace to be on display.

Exposure is what frees you from the enemy’s grasp.

So if God is calling you to speak, know this:

You’re not stepping into weakness.

You’re stepping into freedom.