Examine Me Lord

Psalm 17:3 states:

"Though you probe my heart, though you examine me at night and test me, you will find that I have planned no evil; my mouth has not transgressed"

It’s been a while, life has been moving extremely fast for me lately, and the busyness has been almost overwhelming. To be quite honest, I didn’t even realize that I hadn’t written a post in over a month until today. Lord willing things will begin to settle just enough for me to start writing a little more often again. Anyways, let’s get into today’s word. This will be like a spinoff of my previous post, “A new heart”. I won’t keep you for long, but while it’s on my mind let me share the latest interpretation of the dream I shared within that post.

When it comes to my dreams, oftentimes, God speaks to me regarding them overtime. Sometimes, my initial understanding differs from my understanding 2 to 3 weeks later, other times initially I do not understand at all, then BOOM, a month or so later it all makes perfect sense.

I was tempted to add this new understanding to “A New Heart”, but what I received from that dream initially, and the message I relayed to you all according to that initial understanding was no mistake. So, if it was for you, I hope it helped you in some way it did me.

To sum up the last few years of my life, the closer I get to God the more aware I become of His promises to those that love Him and keep His commands. Yet, as I examine my own life, I have yet to experience the manifestation of such promises in certain areas that I’ve taken to God in prayer. Nevertheless, I know I serve a promise keeping God, no matter how much time goes by. 

God clued me in on something about a month ago, and as discouragement began to chase after me, He whispered to me, “Krystal, it’s a test”. I used to believe God’s tests looked something like a Christ follower swearing off chocolate for 2 years, and then right before a breakthrough, they find theirself surrounded by chocolate while God watches to see if they’d give in. I couldn’t have been more wrong. 

I now understand that what I expected to be a method of God’s testing, is actually categorized as tempting, and the word of God tells us that the Lord does not tempt us, “When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone…” (James 1:13). I misunderstood what it meant to be tested by the Lord because I misunderstood the purpose behind such tests.

Here’s what I learned, the tests of God do not test our strength, it tests His strength made perfect within us, for when we are weak then we are strong, this is accomplished through relationship with Him (See 2 Corinthians 12:9). Our ability to stand firm in faith, and our inability to be shaken no matter the storms that come our way speaks to the Lord’s perfect strength working on the inside of us. A strength that empowers us to hold on to His hand, and never let go.

God desires for His followers to lean and depend on Him, and to endure in the midst of trouble. If you’re like me, and are going through some hard times, you know that it’s not by your own strength that you’re able to endure, but by the strength of God within you. I’ve found that what a season of tests may look like for many is a delay in God given promises for the sake of spiritual development (whether we percieve this or not).

In the midst of the delay, will you trust God? And if everything you’re believing in Him for never arrived, would you still love Him? The tests of the Lord evaluate the genuineness of our faith; our love and devotion to God. Do you love God because of what He can do for you, or do you love Him simply because of who He is?

There is a certain type of faith God is looking for, a faith that has been tried and tested, a faith that has weathered a storm or two. This faith is one that will remain no matter the outcome because it’s not tied to results, it’s tied to the Promise Keeper. So, as long as He (God) remains, so will this faith, forever more. The testing of our faith yields perseverance. A person who possesses a faith that has passed the examination of the Lord, cannot be shaken. This is God’s desire for us all.

James 1:1-3

2) Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3) because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.

Regarding my own situations, in the past, I’ve walked away from God because He did not answer my prayers when I wanted and how I wanted Him to. Today, I’ve made a decision to stick beside Him no matter where I end up in this life. 

Ask yourself this today…

Do you truly love the Lord, or are there conditions attached to your “love” for Him?

I ask myself this question when the going gets rough, because when the trials are at the forefront of the mind, you sometimes find yourself putting God and His promises of victory over all things on the backburner. This question is meant to recenter us, bringing us back to our senses.

If you find yourself in a place where you recognize that your “love” for God is conditional, it’s okay, we serve a gracious God who is willing to forgive (as long as you’re willing to repent), and help you down a more righteous path; a path of which you can truly love Him in a way that He deserves to be loved by you.

For those who did not read “A New Heart”, here’s the dream:

“As I lay down in bed, there was this hand that reached out to the middle of my chest. It yanked out my heart, and with some type of surgical tool, it began to do something to my heart, then it placed the heart back into my chest. Believe it or not, I felt physical pain throughout this dream, and I gasped for air.”

I now know that this dream quite literally depicts the beginning of Psalm 17:3…God is good!

The heart was stripped from my chest in order that it might be tested during times where my prayers are constant, the promises over my life has been spoken, yet my situations still have not changed. 

What will I do? What should I do? 

I should keep leaning and depending on God, trusting that He is not a man that He would lie. But most importantly, I believe I should focus on Him over every promise and every desire prayed for because He is truly all that I need.

Prayer:

Father, I’m sorry for making my trials and tribulations out to be greater and more powerful than You. I’m sorry for desiring Your promises over You. I know You are a promise keeping God, a way making God, and I trust in You and Your timing.  Bring to light where You desire for me to grow in this season of my life, and give me the courage and the boldness to walk according to your will for my life. Help me to keep my eyes on You, and trust that all things will work together for my good. Thank you for choosing me to take this special journey with You. I am Yours and You are mine forever more. In Jesus name, Amen!