How Far Will You Go?

Written 08/05/2022

I’ve cried many tears over the years. Tears born from despair. Tears rooted in my lack of faith in what God could do and would do for me. I wrote about my greatest desires and the fears that threatened them. And unlike my other entries, I named this one before I began writing it: How far will you go?

We ask God for massive things, yet struggle to honor the small things He asks of us. Then we turn away in frustration as if He’s the one who fell short. No man is perfect—Scripture makes that clear—but are you genuinely trying? Or are you hiding behind the excuse of your imperfection?

I’ve learned that the closer you draw to God, the heavier sin begins to feel. What once seemed harmless becomes something your spirit can’t stand to sit with.

I used to drink until I was unbelievably drunk just for fun—

but as I drew nearer to Christ, I couldn’t stomach it anymore.

I used to revel in lustful thoughts nearly every day—

but as I drew nearer, they no longer gave me the same thrill.

I used to fall for the serpent tongues of men who only wanted one thing—

but as I drew nearer, their words lost their charm.

I used to let envy eat at my spirit—

but as I drew nearer, I finally faced the broken places inside me that kept me dissatisfied with myself.

When you seek Him, you don’t just find what you were looking for—you find everything you didn’t know you needed. God begins to show you yourself in ways you never imagined.

And once He reveals where you must grow or heal, you’re no longer ignorant of it. You’re accountable. For example, when lust tries to creep in, I know I must be mindful of what I watch and listen to. Some songs I can’t replay anymore. Others I should delete altogether—but I’m working on it. I’ve always loved music, but lately I skip songs I used to love because I know exactly what they awaken in me. I’m not great at this yet, but I’m trying.

My father always says, “You are what you eat.”

And spiritually, that could not be more true.

So I ask you: What are you feeding your spirit? What are you working on to align your life with God’s commands—not by works, but out of love for the One who sacrificed everything for you? Are you willing to sacrifice anything for His sufficient grace?

I chose abstinence until marriage—a decision that was uncomfortable for me. I made this decision for all those called to me in ministry.

I made it because I was told it could not be done.

I was told no one would wait.

I was told purity was unrealistic in a generation obsessed with “test drives” and hookups.

So I chose this path to show that it can be done—that God will always make a way for those who honor Him, even in a culture that mocks righteousness. Yes, for the sake of others I chose the path, but God is the reason I’ve remained on it.

When I started writing, I knew what I shared would hold me accountable. Giving into lust would not only betray myself—it would betray the people I’m called to encourage. So I told God, “I will walk this out so that every young, old, virgin, or non-virgin reading will know it’s possible—and that You bless obedience far beyond what temptation offers.”

And as I walk this road—alone, because no one can walk it for me—I feel more confident approaching God about my future. Not because I earn anything, but because I refuse to knowingly trample on the grace that saved me. I’m willing to sacrifice comfort today for the glory He has prepared for tomorrow.

So I ask you again:

How far are you willing to go for the One who has no limits when it comes to you?

Scripture to reflect on:

Ephesians 2:8–9:

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.