Habits Pt.1

Habits originate from somewhere. Some are healthy while others—not so much. Some habits we’ve formed come from circumstances beyond our control, unfortunate moments that sowed seeds leading to an unhealthy continuation of certain behaviors.

Most of the time, we justify the habits we’ve formed because their origins were not something we chose. But with compassion and understanding, I can say this: just because you didn’t sow the seed doesn’t mean you aren’t responsible for the continuation of the habits that grew from it.

Let’s move forward with some real-life examples:

The Bright Side:

It is my belief that a healthy seed is faith in Jesus Christ. The continuation of this seed is living a life aligned with that belief. The origin of this seed may be parents who introduced a child to the faith, reiterated its importance, and cultivated a lifestyle that mirrored it.

This is an example of an origin that, for the most part, is outside of our control—yet it leads to a healthy seed, which leads to healthy habits.

In many other cases, maybe this isn’t your story. Maybe it was entirely up to you whether or not you wanted to surrender your life to Christ. In that case, the origin of your healthy seed would be the moment you gave Him your yes, and the continuation of this walk would be the healthy habits formed as a result.

The Dark Side:

Because I am familiar with the aftermath of childhood sexual abuse, I’ll use this as an example. You can read more about my story here.

Childhood sexual abuse is the origin of an unhealthy seed—lust. The continuation of that seed becomes a life out of alignment with God’s will for our sexuality, often showing up as pornography addiction, self-gratification, or sex outside of marriage (sexual immorality).

Its origin is a violation that prematurely introduced a child to something they had no real understanding of. Such violation trains the body to respond before the mind or will ever agreed to desire. This confusion is part of why lust-driven habits feel stronger than logic, and stronger than intention.

Sex is good—meant to be—but in covenant. Outside of covenant, it becomes a stumbling block. Any sexual activity—especially sexual violation—outside of covenant cultivates habits that are not easily broken. And instead of leaning on God as the way out, we often attempt to silence the cravings ourselves, which leads to addiction.

This is an example of an origin beyond one’s control, yet it still leads to an unhealthy seed, which leads to unhealthy habits.

But in many cases, this may not be your experience. Maybe the origin of your unhealthy habit(s) was entirely up to you. Maybe the same seed was sown (lust), and it cultivated a similar—if not identical—habit(s) as those who had no say in the matter.

Whether you had a say or not, the same grace and mercy await you. And whether you feel it’s “fair” or not, the same responsibility to halt the continuation of an unhealthy habit(s) still rests with you.

Sometimes it feels like there’s no way out, like there’s no hope—especially when certain habits turn into strongholds: deeply rooted lies that shape how you think, feel, and act, and stand in direct opposition to the truth of God’s Word.

If anyone understands where you are, I do. But in the same way the Holy Spirit reminds me, I will remind you: God will always provide a way out. He is willing and ready to redeem where we’ve been deeply wounded, and forgive us for where we’ve fallen greatly.

Click here to read Habits Pt. 2 (recommended).

Scripture to reflect on:

John 8:11

“No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

1 Corinthians 10:13

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.